Thursday, January 8, 2009

Beat That Traffic Ticket

A Few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella

The big list of fun stuff to do in that boring ol' courtroom of law...

  • Change your plea every five minutes
  • If you're the judge, call the defendant the plaintiff, the plaintiff a lawyer, the witness a juror, and the jurors defendants. Call the lawyers "Barney"
  • Gurgle into the microphone.
  • Complain aloud about that nasty wedgie you have, then take a poll of others in the audience if they too have a nasty wedgie.
  • If in traffic court, when asked to stand, walk over to the judge and issue him a parking ticket on his desk.
  • When asked to produce evidence, pick your nose, smear the snot on the table, point to it and say, "From this it is obvious, I am not guilty!"
  • Wear those X-Ray vision glasses from Halloween, when someone walks past, stare them up and down then shake head in dismay.
  • Popcorn and a large coke, if anyone asks about it, show them your ticket and say "I'm a paying customer!".

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