To The Illinois Govenor...

A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella


The big list of fun stuff to do in that boring ol' courtroom of law...

• 1. Bring a cell phone and order a pizza when the judge starts talking.
• Bring a zip-lock bag full of grapes and launch a few at the defendant when the judge isn't looking.
• Giggle uncontrollably when they show the evidence, if any blood is present.
• If they ever bring up the possibility of an accomplice, duck your head and quiver.
• Stand up and yell "OBJECTION!" to everything the judge says. EVERYTHING.
• If you're the defendant, wait until the judge starts talking about you. Proceed to hide under your table.
• If anybody attempts to communicate with you in any way, stare off into space and blow spit bubbles.
• Sing "The Song That Never Ends" incessantly.
• Get the judge to look at you. Lick your lips and motion that you'll "call him"