A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left handed.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Just Thinking...
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Don't be afraid to send out a little SOS to others. They'll be happy to jump on the bandwagon with your positive attitude and give you all the help you need. This could quite possibly be the beginning of your fortune.
All events in your life this month point the way toward wealth, prosperity, and the achievement of your goals, possibly even greater than you expected.
Now, here's something you do need to remember. No matter what obstacles get in your way or who disagrees with you, stick to your guns and don't deviate from what you feel is right. If you apply yourself, you have a great opportunity to transform all those bright ideas into reality.
Don't be afraid to send out a little SOS to others. They'll be happy to jump on the bandwagon with your positive attitude and give you all the help you need. This could quite possibly be the beginning of your fortune.
All events in your life this month point the way toward wealth, prosperity, and the achievement of your goals, possibly even greater than you expected.
Now, here's something you do need to remember. No matter what obstacles get in your way or who disagrees with you, stick to your guns and don't deviate from what you feel is right. If you apply yourself, you have a great opportunity to transform all those bright ideas into reality.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Spiders??
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Spring Things To Do
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
New Realities
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
And don't be afraid to send out a little SOS to others. They'll be happy to jump on the bandwagon with your positive attitude and give you all the help you need. This could quite possibly be the beginning of your fortune.
All events in your life this month point the way toward wealth, prosperity, and the achievement of your goals, possibly even greater than you expected.
Now, here's something you do need to remember. No matter what obstacles get in your way or who disagrees with you, stick to your guns and don't deviate from what you feel is right. If you apply yourself, you have a great opportunity to transform all those bright ideas into reality.
And don't be afraid to send out a little SOS to others. They'll be happy to jump on the bandwagon with your positive attitude and give you all the help you need. This could quite possibly be the beginning of your fortune.
All events in your life this month point the way toward wealth, prosperity, and the achievement of your goals, possibly even greater than you expected.
Now, here's something you do need to remember. No matter what obstacles get in your way or who disagrees with you, stick to your guns and don't deviate from what you feel is right. If you apply yourself, you have a great opportunity to transform all those bright ideas into reality.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Duck Soup
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Remember This
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Now, here's something you do need to remember. No matter what obstacles get in your way or who disagrees with you, stick to your guns and don't deviate from what you feel is right. If you apply yourself, you have a great opportunity to transform all those bright ideas into reality.
This month would also be a good time to consider tying the knot or starting a family. In general, you feel very satisfied and quite adventurous. It's a good month to travel, if not physically, at least in your dreams.
Now, here's something you do need to remember. No matter what obstacles get in your way or who disagrees with you, stick to your guns and don't deviate from what you feel is right. If you apply yourself, you have a great opportunity to transform all those bright ideas into reality.
This month would also be a good time to consider tying the knot or starting a family. In general, you feel very satisfied and quite adventurous. It's a good month to travel, if not physically, at least in your dreams.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Concentration
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
I know, I know. You're probably saying to yourself, "Where's my silver platter!" Please make it easier on yourself--CONCENTRATE on ways to get around the obstacles. One piece of advice I can give you is never stop looking for the answers you need. Ask. Look. Research and ye shall find!
It's also a good time to listen to your inner voice. In order to do this, take some time out for yourself and spend it in a quiet place. Once you're calm, listen to that voice. The advice it can give you is surprisingly right on target.
I know, I know. You're probably saying to yourself, "Where's my silver platter!" Please make it easier on yourself--CONCENTRATE on ways to get around the obstacles. One piece of advice I can give you is never stop looking for the answers you need. Ask. Look. Research and ye shall find!
It's also a good time to listen to your inner voice. In order to do this, take some time out for yourself and spend it in a quiet place. Once you're calm, listen to that voice. The advice it can give you is surprisingly right on target.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
More Fun With Optics
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Optical Track - An intermediate step from going from your mix master to your final print is to have an optical track struck. An optical track is photographed onto a blank piece of special high contract stock by the facility where the mix is done, or by the lab. The optical track is a separate roll of film from the original negative and is combined with picture when a print is struck. (The track itself still remains a separate element from the A&B Rolls, it is printed in a separate pass through the contract printer.)
Optical Track - An intermediate step from going from your mix master to your final print is to have an optical track struck. An optical track is photographed onto a blank piece of special high contract stock by the facility where the mix is done, or by the lab. The optical track is a separate roll of film from the original negative and is combined with picture when a print is struck. (The track itself still remains a separate element from the A&B Rolls, it is printed in a separate pass through the contract printer.)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Financial Gain
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
This is a great time to pursue interesting business deals or to take on additional responsibilities in your life. Feel confident. Your experience and skills have reached a sound level. Just remember, this is a period of Karma where "as ye sow, so shall ye reap." Funny thing. The opposite also applies to slackers. If the latter applies to you, it's time to make amends, my friend.
If you've ever wanted to start a part-time business on the side, write a book, or pursue a long-time hobby for profit, give it a try. But while financial gain could be just around the corner, be aware that costs are involved too. Go into the situation with research and facts to back up your ideas. Then get ready to turn possibilities into realities!
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
This is a great time to pursue interesting business deals or to take on additional responsibilities in your life. Feel confident. Your experience and skills have reached a sound level. Just remember, this is a period of Karma where "as ye sow, so shall ye reap." Funny thing. The opposite also applies to slackers. If the latter applies to you, it's time to make amends, my friend.
If you've ever wanted to start a part-time business on the side, write a book, or pursue a long-time hobby for profit, give it a try. But while financial gain could be just around the corner, be aware that costs are involved too. Go into the situation with research and facts to back up your ideas. Then get ready to turn possibilities into realities!
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Monday, March 23, 2009
New Fun Fo
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
On an emotional basis, you'll experience a deeper feeling of companionship and love with your husband or boyfriend. Don't be surprised if you develop a kind of weird telepathy with him. This is a period in which you'll be thinking the same things, saying things together at the same time, and wanting to do things together.
All of these events are occurring because you're under the influence of a 24/6 personal month. The 6 has a strong influence toward "cosmic parent." SUCCEED and LOVABLE are positive words to keep in mind this month because they both add up to the numeric value of 24/6.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
On an emotional basis, you'll experience a deeper feeling of companionship and love with your husband or boyfriend. Don't be surprised if you develop a kind of weird telepathy with him. This is a period in which you'll be thinking the same things, saying things together at the same time, and wanting to do things together.
All of these events are occurring because you're under the influence of a 24/6 personal month. The 6 has a strong influence toward "cosmic parent." SUCCEED and LOVABLE are positive words to keep in mind this month because they both add up to the numeric value of 24/6.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Sunday, March 22, 2009
New Fun
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Your judgment will be more acute than usual during this cycle. You'll be amazed by how clearly you can "see" different aspects of situations that previously seemed invisible. This is an opportunity to learn from past mistakes and successes. At the same time, if you have ANY doubts, consult a professional before forging ahead.
Basically, it's the time to build solid foundations for every aspect of your life. If you plan reasonably and follow the map you've designed, the road will be a lot less rocky in the future.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Your judgment will be more acute than usual during this cycle. You'll be amazed by how clearly you can "see" different aspects of situations that previously seemed invisible. This is an opportunity to learn from past mistakes and successes. At the same time, if you have ANY doubts, consult a professional before forging ahead.
Basically, it's the time to build solid foundations for every aspect of your life. If you plan reasonably and follow the map you've designed, the road will be a lot less rocky in the future.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Note To AIG - Do Your Job
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
Never buy just one roll of toilet paper, one roll of film, or one jar of peanut butter. Get two.
Do a good job because you want to, not because you have to. This puts you in charge instead of your boss.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
Never buy just one roll of toilet paper, one roll of film, or one jar of peanut butter. Get two.
Do a good job because you want to, not because you have to. This puts you in charge instead of your boss.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Monday, March 16, 2009
Lotto Tickets
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
Never buy just one roll of toilet paper, one roll of film, or one jar of peanut butter. Get two.
Do a good job because you want to, not because you have to. This puts you in charge instead of your boss.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
Never buy just one roll of toilet paper, one roll of film, or one jar of peanut butter. Get two.
Do a good job because you want to, not because you have to. This puts you in charge instead of your boss.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thursday, March 12, 2009
On Respect
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
· If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
· Listen to your critics. They will keep you focused and innovative.
· When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
· Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
· Plant Zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
· Take along a small gift for the host or hostess when you’re a dinner guest.
· Carry your own alarm clock when traveling. Hotel wake-ups can be unreliable.
· Don’t let your family get so busy that you don’t sit down to at least one meal a day together.
· Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions,
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
· If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
· Listen to your critics. They will keep you focused and innovative.
· When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
· Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
· Plant Zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
· Take along a small gift for the host or hostess when you’re a dinner guest.
· Carry your own alarm clock when traveling. Hotel wake-ups can be unreliable.
· Don’t let your family get so busy that you don’t sit down to at least one meal a day together.
· Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions,
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Don't Drink With Vikings
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Enjoy these interesting facts about alcohol and drinking in different states.
The word "toast," meaning a wish of good health, started in ancient Rome, where a piece of toasted bread was dropped into wine.
Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Enjoy these interesting facts about alcohol and drinking in different states.
The word "toast," meaning a wish of good health, started in ancient Rome, where a piece of toasted bread was dropped into wine.
Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Americans Really Like Pizza
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Elephants Can't Jump...
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.Click here for more of Mark Cella’s Fun-fo or Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.Click here for more of Mark Cella’s Fun-fo or Mark Cella’s fun advice
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Women Blink More
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s Fun-fo or Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s Fun-fo or Mark Cella’s fun advice
Monday, March 2, 2009
Zucchini
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
· If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
· Listen to your critics. They will keep you focused and innovative.
· When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
· Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
· Plant Zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
· Take along a small gift for the host or hostess when you’re a dinner guest.
· Carry your own alarm clock when traveling. Hotel wake-ups can be unreliable.
· Don’t let your family get so busy that you don’t sit down to at least one meal a day together.
· Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions,
a
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
· If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
· Listen to your critics. They will keep you focused and innovative.
· When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
· Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
· Plant Zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
· Take along a small gift for the host or hostess when you’re a dinner guest.
· Carry your own alarm clock when traveling. Hotel wake-ups can be unreliable.
· Don’t let your family get so busy that you don’t sit down to at least one meal a day together.
· Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions,
a
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Travel Tips
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
· If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
· Listen to your critics. They will keep you focused and innovative.
· When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
· Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
· Plant Zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
· Take along a small gift for the host or hostess when you’re a dinner guest.
· Carry your own alarm clock when traveling. Hotel wake-ups can be unreliable.
· Don’t let your family get so busy that you don’t sit down to at least one meal a day together.
· Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions,
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
· If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
· Listen to your critics. They will keep you focused and innovative.
· When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
· Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
· Plant Zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
· Take along a small gift for the host or hostess when you’re a dinner guest.
· Carry your own alarm clock when traveling. Hotel wake-ups can be unreliable.
· Don’t let your family get so busy that you don’t sit down to at least one meal a day together.
· Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions,
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Peanut Butter? No Thanks!
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
Never buy just one roll of toilet paper, one roll of film, or one jar of peanut butter. Get two.
Do a good job because you want to, not because you have to. This puts you in charge instead of your boss.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
Never buy just one roll of toilet paper, one roll of film, or one jar of peanut butter. Get two.
Do a good job because you want to, not because you have to. This puts you in charge instead of your boss.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Health and Safety
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Cavemen to Columbus
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Puritans to Prohibition
While there wasn't any cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, or pumpkin pie to eat at the first Thanksgiving, there was beer, brandy, gin, and wine to drink.
Prohibition: The Noble Experiment
During Prohibition, temperance activists hired a scholar to rewrite the Bible by removing all references to alcohol beverage.
Beverages: Ales to Zombies
Bourbon takes its name from Bourbon County in Kentucky, where it was first produced in 1789 by a Baptist minister.
The alcohol in drinks of either low alcohol content (below 15%) or high alcohol content (over 30%) tend to be absorbed into the body more slowly.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Cavemen to Columbus
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Puritans to Prohibition
While there wasn't any cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, or pumpkin pie to eat at the first Thanksgiving, there was beer, brandy, gin, and wine to drink.
Prohibition: The Noble Experiment
During Prohibition, temperance activists hired a scholar to rewrite the Bible by removing all references to alcohol beverage.
Beverages: Ales to Zombies
Bourbon takes its name from Bourbon County in Kentucky, where it was first produced in 1789 by a Baptist minister.
The alcohol in drinks of either low alcohol content (below 15%) or high alcohol content (over 30%) tend to be absorbed into the body more slowly.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Dont Forget To Leave The Light On
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
· Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
· Plant Zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
· Take along a small gift for the host or hostess when you’re a dinner guest.
· Carry your own alarm clock when traveling. Hotel wake-ups can be unreliable.
· Don’t let your family get so busy that you don’t sit down to at least one meal a day together.
· Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions,
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
· Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
· Plant Zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
· Take along a small gift for the host or hostess when you’re a dinner guest.
· Carry your own alarm clock when traveling. Hotel wake-ups can be unreliable.
· Don’t let your family get so busy that you don’t sit down to at least one meal a day together.
· Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions,
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Drink Up Everyone
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Enjoy these interesting facts about alcohol and drinking in different states.
The word "toast," meaning a wish of good health, started in ancient Rome, where a piece of toasted bread was dropped into wine.
Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Enjoy these interesting facts about alcohol and drinking in different states.
The word "toast," meaning a wish of good health, started in ancient Rome, where a piece of toasted bread was dropped into wine.
Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Lighter Before The Match
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left handed.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left handed.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thursday, February 12, 2009
What Rhymes With "Month"?
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s Fun-fo or Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s Fun-fo or Mark Cella’s fun advice
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
18 Acre Slice
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Monday, February 9, 2009
New Facts
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Cavemen to Columbus
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Puritans to Prohibition
While there wasn't any cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, or pumpkin pie to eat at the first Thanksgiving, there was beer, brandy, gin, and wine to drink.
Prohibition: The Noble Experiment
During Prohibition, temperance activists hired a scholar to rewrite the Bible by removing all references to alcohol beverage.
Beverages: Ales to Zombies
Bourbon takes its name from Bourbon County in Kentucky, where it was first produced in 1789 by a Baptist minister.
Health and Safety
The alcohol in drinks of either low alcohol content (below 15%) or high alcohol content (over 30%) tend to be absorbed into the body more slowly.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Cavemen to Columbus
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Puritans to Prohibition
While there wasn't any cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, or pumpkin pie to eat at the first Thanksgiving, there was beer, brandy, gin, and wine to drink.
Prohibition: The Noble Experiment
During Prohibition, temperance activists hired a scholar to rewrite the Bible by removing all references to alcohol beverage.
Beverages: Ales to Zombies
Bourbon takes its name from Bourbon County in Kentucky, where it was first produced in 1789 by a Baptist minister.
Health and Safety
The alcohol in drinks of either low alcohol content (below 15%) or high alcohol content (over 30%) tend to be absorbed into the body more slowly.
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo Mark Cella’s fun advice
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Mark Cella Knows Baseball
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice
Learn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Toasted
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Enjoy these interesting facts about alcohol and drinking in different states.
The word "toast," meaning a wish of good health, started in ancient Rome, where a piece of toasted bread was dropped into wine.
Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun adviceLearn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Enjoy these interesting facts about alcohol and drinking in different states.
The word "toast," meaning a wish of good health, started in ancient Rome, where a piece of toasted bread was dropped into wine.
Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun adviceLearn more at Mark Cella’s Fun-fo
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Did You Know That
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left handed.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Click here for more of Mark Cella’s fun advice
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Health Matters
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Cavemen to Columbus
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Puritans to Prohibition
While there wasn't any cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, or pumpkin pie to eat at the first Thanksgiving, there was beer, brandy, gin, and wine to drink.
Prohibition: The Noble Experiment
During Prohibition, temperance activists hired a scholar to rewrite the Bible by removing all references to alcohol beverage.
Beverages: Ales to Zombies
Bourbon takes its name from Bourbon County in Kentucky, where it was first produced in 1789 by a Baptist minister.
Health and SafetyThe alcohol in drinks of either low alcohol content (below 15%) or high alcohol content (over 30%) tend to be absorbed into the body more slowly
Cavemen to Columbus
The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
Puritans to Prohibition
While there wasn't any cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, or pumpkin pie to eat at the first Thanksgiving, there was beer, brandy, gin, and wine to drink.
Prohibition: The Noble Experiment
During Prohibition, temperance activists hired a scholar to rewrite the Bible by removing all references to alcohol beverage.
Beverages: Ales to Zombies
Bourbon takes its name from Bourbon County in Kentucky, where it was first produced in 1789 by a Baptist minister.
Health and SafetyThe alcohol in drinks of either low alcohol content (below 15%) or high alcohol content (over 30%) tend to be absorbed into the body more slowly
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Drink To That
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Did you know:
The human body produces its own supply of alcohol naturally on a continous basis, 24 hours a day, seven days a week?
Did you know that the world's oldest known recipe is for beer?
The word "toast," meaning a wish of good health, started in ancient Rome, where a piece of toasted bread was dropped into wine.
Would You Believe...
Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
Did you know:
The human body produces its own supply of alcohol naturally on a continous basis, 24 hours a day, seven days a week?
Did you know that the world's oldest known recipe is for beer?
The word "toast," meaning a wish of good health, started in ancient Rome, where a piece of toasted bread was dropped into wine.
Would You Believe...
Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Don't Be An Ostritch
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
January Jokes
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Drive Thru Revenge
After eating half your meal return it and say you got the wrong thing and ask for a refund.
As you're pulling away and they say "Have a nice day!" (with that retarded smile) put the car in reverse and ask them what the hell that's supposed to mean.
Order something from one fast food place then go to another drive through when they give you your food take one bite and say "No thank youthis tastes better (pointing to bag from other place), may i have my money back."
Play name that tune with person taking the order.Pretend your deaf and order in sign language.
Go through Taco Bell order the 7 layer burrito. When they repeat your order ask if each layer of the burrito is sold separately. When they ask how you are today proceed by telling them about your diarrhea problems, most likely due to the burger you bought from them yesterday and the day before that.
Drive Thru Revenge
After eating half your meal return it and say you got the wrong thing and ask for a refund.
As you're pulling away and they say "Have a nice day!" (with that retarded smile) put the car in reverse and ask them what the hell that's supposed to mean.
Order something from one fast food place then go to another drive through when they give you your food take one bite and say "No thank youthis tastes better (pointing to bag from other place), may i have my money back."
Play name that tune with person taking the order.Pretend your deaf and order in sign language.
Go through Taco Bell order the 7 layer burrito. When they repeat your order ask if each layer of the burrito is sold separately. When they ask how you are today proceed by telling them about your diarrhea problems, most likely due to the burger you bought from them yesterday and the day before that.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Mark Cella Applauds President Obama
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Haven't you ever had the urge to let loose when ordering that burrito or burger and drink combo?
In summer turn stereo up full volume to Christmas music while ordering in drive through.
Drive in the drive through, park, then go inside and order.
Go through the drive through in reverse, again.
Wait for the busiest time of day, after paying get out of car, get jack out of trunk and proceed to rotate tires.
Check oil in drive through, possibly touch up the windscreen with some glass cleaner.
Walk up to drive through window with hands in the air like your holding onto a steering wheel.
Go through drive through and ask for directions to the place you're at.
Haven't you ever had the urge to let loose when ordering that burrito or burger and drink combo?
In summer turn stereo up full volume to Christmas music while ordering in drive through.
Drive in the drive through, park, then go inside and order.
Go through the drive through in reverse, again.
Wait for the busiest time of day, after paying get out of car, get jack out of trunk and proceed to rotate tires.
Check oil in drive through, possibly touch up the windscreen with some glass cleaner.
Walk up to drive through window with hands in the air like your holding onto a steering wheel.
Go through drive through and ask for directions to the place you're at.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Happy Obama Day!
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Haven't you ever had the urge to loose control when ordering that burrito or burger and drink combo?Ask for last months specials.Place your order in three different languages if you don't know any, make them up.When they repeat your order totally change it. Repeat as desired.Order a whopper from McDonalds, when they say they don't have whoppers insist that they do. If they still argue demand to see a manager then when you talk to them order a normal meal and say i don't know what's up with kids these days.Go to any burger joint and order Chinese.When ordering in the drive through, ask if its happy hour on draft beer.
Haven't you ever had the urge to loose control when ordering that burrito or burger and drink combo?Ask for last months specials.Place your order in three different languages if you don't know any, make them up.When they repeat your order totally change it. Repeat as desired.Order a whopper from McDonalds, when they say they don't have whoppers insist that they do. If they still argue demand to see a manager then when you talk to them order a normal meal and say i don't know what's up with kids these days.Go to any burger joint and order Chinese.When ordering in the drive through, ask if its happy hour on draft beer.
Monday, January 19, 2009
That's Alot Of Barbie
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Crocodiles Tongue?
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Calling All Rappers:
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Betcha Didn't Know
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
Monday, January 12, 2009
That's A Lot Of Pizza
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left handed.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left handed.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Friday, January 9, 2009
This Year Remember To...
A Few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
Never buy just one roll of toilet paper, one roll of film, or one jar of peanut butter. Get two.
Do a good job because you want to, not because you have to. This puts you in charge instead of your boss.
Remember that the shortest way to get anywhere is to have good company traveling with you.
When you are lost, admit it, and ask for directions.
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
Never buy just one roll of toilet paper, one roll of film, or one jar of peanut butter. Get two.
Do a good job because you want to, not because you have to. This puts you in charge instead of your boss.
Remember that the shortest way to get anywhere is to have good company traveling with you.
When you are lost, admit it, and ask for directions.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Beat That Traffic Ticket
A Few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
The big list of fun stuff to do in that boring ol' courtroom of law...
The big list of fun stuff to do in that boring ol' courtroom of law...
- Change your plea every five minutes
- If you're the judge, call the defendant the plaintiff, the plaintiff a lawyer, the witness a juror, and the jurors defendants. Call the lawyers "Barney"
- Gurgle into the microphone.
- Complain aloud about that nasty wedgie you have, then take a poll of others in the audience if they too have a nasty wedgie.
- If in traffic court, when asked to stand, walk over to the judge and issue him a parking ticket on his desk.
- When asked to produce evidence, pick your nose, smear the snot on the table, point to it and say, "From this it is obvious, I am not guilty!"
- Wear those X-Ray vision glasses from Halloween, when someone walks past, stare them up and down then shake head in dismay.
- Popcorn and a large coke, if anyone asks about it, show them your ticket and say "I'm a paying customer!".
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
To The Wall Street Crooks
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
To the Wall Street crimminals
More fun things to do in court:
- Bring a kazoo.
- Act like you're doing something important, and ask them to "keep it down"
- Every time the judge uses the gavel, keel over backwards and act like you've been shot.
- Bring a Gameboy and leave the volume at full.
- Wait until everybody is completely focused on the trial, then blow a referee's whistle as loud as you can.
- Point to the person next to you and tell him to "stop it!"
- Pretend you turn into a pig when you get wet. Douse yourself in cold water and act like one.
- Call the judge a wuss when he issues the death penalty. When he accuses you of contempt of the court, look puzzled and ask him what it means.
- When he answers, object.
- Dress up like Santa Claus
- Drink all of your lawyer's water, then ask for more. Then ask to go to the bathroom.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
To The Illinois Govenor...
A few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
The big list of fun stuff to do in that boring ol' courtroom of law...
The big list of fun stuff to do in that boring ol' courtroom of law...
- 1. Bring a cell phone and order a pizza when the judge starts talking.
- Bring a zip-lock bag full of grapes and launch a few at the defendant when the judge isn't looking.
- Giggle uncontrollably when they show the evidence, if any blood is present.
- If they ever bring up the possibility of an accomplice, duck your head and quiver.
- Stand up and yell "OBJECTION!" to everything the judge says. EVERYTHING.
- If you're the defendant, wait until the judge starts talking about you. Proceed to hide under your table.
- If anybody attempts to communicate with you in any way, stare off into space and blow spit bubbles.
- Sing "The Song That Never Ends" incessantly.
- Get the judge to look at you. Lick your lips and motion that you'll "call him"
Monday, January 5, 2009
HNY Resolutions (I Think)
A Few words from poet/ author/ philosopher, Mark A. Cella
- I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
- I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
- Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
- Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
- Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
- Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
- I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.
- I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
- I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars
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